Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
