I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
