Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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