If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Randomize
