its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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