can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
