I wish I only lived at night.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
