omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
