Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
third nipple confirmed
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
