someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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