stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
