Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
