and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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