mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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