i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
