i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
