8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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