Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
