Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Bring me that man meat
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize