After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I AM VODKA MAN
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
