In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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