i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
