ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
