You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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