I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
