I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
