And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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