He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
