exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
