dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
