sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
