Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
