nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
