thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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