Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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