So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize