i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
