I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
