I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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