Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
