i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
