Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just had sex bonerless
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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