we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
