Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize