More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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