the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
pray to the hookup gods
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
