Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
