Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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