Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
