i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize