so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize