Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
