can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
