How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I puked a lego.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
