the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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