So drunk its hurt
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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