You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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