Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
