East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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