3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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