i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
